Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes. I remember saying out loud: “I need to talk to someone RIGHT NOW. Be brave, Brené!”
Caution: The book does stress that the person you share your shame story with be a trusted friend. That may sound like it should be obvious, but it’s not always obvious in the moment. Sometimes we get a hold of the first person who answers instead of making sure it’s someone who will empathize with us rather than simply sympathize.